The Price of Arrogance

The year was 1953 and PC Jim Smart was always busy.
One Thursday morning the phone went and he heard his sergeant say, “That rich toff has parked his Rolls Royce blocking the doctor’s gate. He can’t get out to see his patients again. It’s every single Thursday. The nerve of the man. He’s friends with the magistrate so he always gets away with it. Go and see what you can do.”
This had been a long term problem and PC Smart had already argued with the very rich owner, Brandon Pucker, on many occasions. Everyone agreed that the doctor’s driveway must never be blocked. That is, everybody except the pompous owner of that car. He had obviously decided the gap that was always left in front of the doctor’s house was a perfect place for such a well off and privileged man such as himself. There were no yellow lines in those days but everybody else knew it was just wrong.
Many times Jim had stood there and wondered how he could move that car himself. The problem was made worse however because the owner kept a very fierce Alsatian dog in the car and left the window open a crack for air to get in. Anybody coming near the car was left in no doubt as to what the dog would do by its loud growling, and gnashing of teeth. Our PC’s best idea so far of a locksmith getting into the car to move it was a non-starter.
However, PC Smart had been trained by a very experienced old policeman who had taught him the most important lesson of all:

“There is always more than one way to solve a problem. Sleep on it and see what pops into your head.”

So he felt there had to be an answer it just require a bit more thought. 
That Thursday morning was the same as every other involving the Rolls Royce and PC Smart walked to the spot feeling helpless. When Brandon Pucker finally turned up his arguments were once again totally ignored. It was just just more wasted time. Worse, this arrogant man wouldn’t even listen to the doctor and had no interest in how dangerously ill people needed medical attention.
As our PC walked on his tour of duty, out of the blue a magnificent thought popped into his head. It was one of those moments when you realise how simple something can be and which immediately puts you in a in a better mood. He now knew what he would do next Thursday.

As usual a week later he was called out to the same Rolls Royce. This time however he didn’t take the most direct route. He first went to visit his old friend the butcher and bought some very good, sliced steak. He even explained what it was for and with a laugh and knowing smile the butcher gave him the meat for nothing. The owner of the Rolls was not popular at all, as so many people had relatives that had been badly affected.
Next, he made another detour to the chemist shop, where he bought a packet of the strongest laxative pills he could buy. It is laxatives of course that make you “go” (number twos) rather quickly when you are blocked up.
PC Jim Smart then made his final detour to a nearby park bench. He sat down and gradually mashed up just one of the extra-strong laxative tablets into a powder. He knew this would be a strong dose for a fully grown Alsatian dog. He made sure not to mix in too much. After all he didn’t want to hurt the poor animal, which was just doing what it had been trained to do. He then poured the powder on top of one of the thin slices of steak and carefully put the other on top. Finally he found a flat stone and mashed the two slices into one slice with the powder hidden in the middle.
Now he was ready.
He approached the car and, of course, the dog went mad. No smart person would consider going near. However, as he unwrapped his parcel, the attitude of the dog changed considerably. Jim Smart knew that in order for dogs to be kept fierce it is usual to make sure they are kept hungry. This dog was no exception. As he slipped the meat through the small gap the dog made no attempt to bite him but simply accepted the offering and, quite literally, wolfed it down.
For Jim Smart the matter now became one of standing nearby and waiting for the owner to appear. One thing he did notice however was the increasing number of people that had suddenly found some reason or other to be standing around just near the doctor’s house. It occurred to him that the butcher might have passed on the tale of what was happening and everybody that possibly could was now standing in one group or another chatting away and pretending not to look at the car.
The first sign that the pills had done their work came about 10 minutes later when a wailing and howling came from inside the car. However, 15 minutes after that an innocent and blissfully unaware passer by provoked the usual growling, snarling and gnashing of teeth from the Alsatian. Everyone was clear the innocent dog was now absolutely fine after its ordeal.

It was another hour before the owner could be seen walking back to the car. By that time there was a large crowd including the butcher who must have shut up shop.
PC Jim Smart, as usual in these situations, went to meet the Brandon Pucker in order to once again argue about his parking. The rich man’s reply reply was a snort of derision and comments such as, “Why bother man?”  As he was approaching the car he turned to Sarge and shouted, “Look, with all these people as witnesses I’ll tell you straight. I’ll park wherever I want and there is absolutely nothing you or anybody else can do about it. So get used to the situation.” He then tipped his hat and said, with a rather cynical smile, a polite “Good day,” to the doctor who by now had also come out of his house to watch.
He then put the key in the car in the door and said, “Good boy Basher, I’m back now so………aaaaarrrgghhhhhhhh”. He had opened and shut the door in one rapid movement. He turned and threw himself away as if he had been hit in the face with a sledgehammer. The smell that had wafted outwards left the watching crowd quite certain as to what had happened inside this wonderful automobile. Brandon Pucker bent over and could not help repeatedly retching by the kerb. He gradually managed to control himself and say, “Help, somebody. I need help to clear up my beautiful car.” As nobody moved he offered money from his wallet. Not a soul moved and PC Smart marvelled at just how many people this man had upset.
Realising his situation this self-important man gradually gained his resolve. By taking gulps of fresh air and making dashes to the car, bit by bit, he opened all the doors and windows whilst commanding Basher to remain inside. The crowd stood and watched thoroughly enjoying the spectacle. Then when he thought as much fresh air as possible was inside, with groans of horror he closed three doors and got into the driver’s seat, shutting that door behind him. With all windows open the crowd was able to hear his constant sounds of retching as he drove off.

From that day on the Rolls Royce was not seen again on that road.

PC Jim Smart went home that day thinking that sometimes a person just needed a reminder they were not better than everyone else.