It’s been a great week. You’ve all done so well. So today, I’m just going to tell you a story.
Jim owns a pub. He is not doing very well. Each lunchtime three old men come in and play cards but they sit there for two hours and drink one half of beer each so they don’t spend much money. The evenings aren’t much better. So one day Jim has the idea to sell bar snacks and he puts a big sign outside the pub saying:
Toasted Sandwiches
On Sale Here
I’m afraid it isn’t much of a success but he keeps going.
At 12.40 on a Monday lunchtime, Jim is behind the bar and the three old men are playing cards when a giant rabbit walks in, sits at the end of the bar and picks up the Toasted Sandwich Menu.
As you can imagine, this causes a bit of a stir amongst the old men and, much to Jim’s delight, one by one they come to the bar and order another drink each just so they can get a close look at the giant rabbit.
Jim serves the three men and then decides the giant rabbit has had enough time to look at the menu. He goes across and asks, “Yes sir, what can I get you?” The rabbit replies, “A pint of bitter and a toasted cheese sandwich please.”
“Coming right up,” says Jim, “By the way, we don’t get many giant rabbits in here.”
“I see,” says the giant rabbit.
Jim pours the pint and then starts making the toasted sandwich. He can’t help noticing that one of the old men is on the phone and realises he must be telling someone about the giant rabbit.
After a few minutes serves the rabbit who by now has drunk half of his pint of bitter. Just then, three old ladies (the men’s wives) come rushing and breathless into the pub. Whilst trying desperately not to look, it is clear they all want to see the giant rabbit. They all go and join their husbands who, again to Jim’s delight, have to buy them each a drink. Suddenly business is picking up!
The giant rabbit finishes his toasted sandwich, asks for the bill, pays and leaves. As he goes there is a lot of gossip and excitement amongst the husbands and wives before everything slowly goes back to normal.
On Tuesday morning at 11.00 as Jim opens the pub, he is surprised to see the three men and their wives as well as five friends waiting to come in. They all buy their drinks and chat excitedly about what might happen. As they are in a happy mood they drink quickly, so they all end up buying more drinks. Jim is now very happy.
At 12.40 the giant rabbit walks in and takes his seat at the end of the bar. There is a ripple of excitement as he picks up and looks at the Toasted Sandwich Menu. Eventually Jim goes across and asks what he can get for the rabbit. The reply is, “A pint of bitter and if possible could I have a toasted cheese and pickle sandwich?”
Well, Jim had never heard of a toasted cheese and pickle sandwich but he immediately said, “Yes of course sir, at once.” He wasn’t going to say, “No” after all this extra business. He served the pint of bitter and went to make the toasted sandwich. As he did so he noticed one of the wives on the phone saying, “It’s true. It’s true!” Ten minutes later, just as he was serving the toasted cheese and pickle sandwich, a group of younger people came in all looking very excited. They each bought a drink and went to join the main crowd. It was obvious why they were there even though they tried not to stare.
About half an hour later the giant rabbit had finished. He paid his bill and left. The pub remained crowded for some time with people rushing through the door and saying, “Am I too late?” Each one of them bought a drink and stayed to talk about what everyone else had seen.
On Wednesday morning at 11.00 Jim opened up to find a queue lined up down the street. He went back inside and phoned his son Jim Junior to come and help him. He turned to see the crowds still coming through the door and he could not help but notice that every seat in the pub was taken except the one at the end of the bar. The people standing had even left a little pathway from the door to that seat. Jim had never been so busy. Even with his son working flat out they could hardly keep up.
At 12.40 the giant rabbit walked in and the pub went quiet with a lot of jaws dropping open.
“Good afternoon sir, lovely day. What can I get for you?” asked Jim.
“Well,” said the giant rabbit, “I’ve been thinking about that. Would it be at all possible to have a pint of bitter and a toasted beetroot and pickled onion sandwich?” Once again Jim had never heard of such a thing but he instantly said, “Yes sir, of course sir, anything you want sir.” He went to pour the bitter and on the way whispered to Jim Junior, “Quick, get to the supermarket and get me a beetroot.”
Everybody else simply watched in amazement.
About 45 minutes later the giant rabbit finishes his toasted sandwich, pays and leaves. The pub breaks out into loud and very excited chatter.
On Thursday morning Jim is woken up 07.30 by a banging on the pub door. There is a huge crowd that is even blocking the road. Jim gives in, opens up and phones for help. He then has the busiest few hours of his life and everybody is in an excited and happy frame of mind. Only one seat is left empty, you know which one, and now there is no standing room left.
At 12.15 the crowd starts getting even more excited and gradually people squash together and shuffle back to clear a narrow path from the door to the only empty seat at the end of the bar.
At 12.40 the giant rabbit walks in and the pub is silent.
“Yes sir. Good to see you again sir,” says Jim, “What can I get for you this fine day?”
“Well,” says the rabbit, “I’m not sure if you’ll be able to manage it but I would like a pint of bitter with a lettuce and Marmite toasted sandwich.”
“Of course sir, as quick as I can sir,” says Jim as he hears the back door slam shut. He knows that Jim Junior was prepared for this and is already running to the supermarket to buy lettuce and Marmite.
50 minutes later the rabbit finishes, pays and leaves and once again the bar breaks out into loud rapid-fire chatter.
On Friday morning Jim is ready. He has extra bar staff and opens up at 07.30. Another extremely frantic morning suddenly stops at 12.40 when the giant rabbit arrives. Not seeming to notice the huge crowd he takes his seat. Jim approaches and asks, “Well sir what can I do for you today? Just ask.”
“Well,” the giant rabbit says, “Could I have a pint of bitter and if at all possible I would absolutely love a strawberry jam and sliced sprout toasted sandwich.”
“Coming right up,” says Jim as he hears the back door slam and knows that Jim Junior is running to the supermarket for sprouts and strawberry jam.
50 minutes later the giant rabbit finishes, pays and leaves. Jim then has his busiest day yet as everybody wants to stay and talk about what they’ve seen.
On Saturday morning, along with the massive crowds Jim now has newspaper reporters and a film crew trying to get into the pub. It is all a terrible squash but he sells a lot of beer. Sadly, when the rabbit does not show up there is a great deal of disappointment and the crowd trickles away.
On Sunday another huge crowd is disappointed.
On Monday a smaller crowd is disappointed.
On Tuesday, hardly any people at all are there to be disappointed and on Wednesday Jim is back to his usual three old men paying cards.
At 12.40 a shimmering and see-through ghostly apparition of the giant rabbit walks in and sits on the seat at the end of the bar.
Jim walks up and asks, “Aren’t you the giant rabbit that used to come in here?”
“Yes,” said the rabbit.
“Well, I hope you don’t mind me saying so but you look like a ghost. I mean you look as if might actually be dead.”
“I am, says the giant rabbit. Now I’m just a ghost.”
“Oh dear,” says Jim, “How did it happen? Were you knocked down by a car?”
“Oh no, “says the giant rabbit, “It was……….
……….mixing me toasties.”
There is of course a deep and thought provoking moral running through the very heart of this story and when you know what it is, please tell me.