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Police Sergeant Jim Smart carried on his duties as normally as possible in London during the 1940 blitz of WW2.
One early November morning he was woken up at home by his phone. He was told that an unexploded bomb had landed on a church in the nearby. He was asked to make his way down there and offer to help. It was Saturday November 4th.
On his way he had to walk through the local main road and shops where he was met by two boys that he knew very well. They were always up to something and he had visited their parents on a variety of occasions with different complaints from the neighbourhood. This time the boys were asking for a penny for the guy. Sarge had a policy of not giving to every child he met like this because, in his job of walking the streets, he would have nothing left. However, when one of the urchins shouted to him, “How about it Sarge? We’ve made a special effort this year. Have a look.” For once the sergeant did have a look and was indeed very impressed, although the face of the Guy looked more like something for Halloween than a bonfire. However, it was certainly different if a little gruesome looking and he decided to make an exception and handed over a penny, which in those days was a big thing. After all a grown up could have a night out for sixpence. He then carried on his way realising that he had just given his two biggest problem children a penny for the guy. However, he reasoned to himself, they certainly had done something very special this year.
When he arrived at the church he was told he had missed all the fuss. The bomb had landed at the very base of the church wall and with such force that it had left a big hole as it fell through to the crypt underneath where all the old and very posh people had been buried, sometimes centuries before. There it lay at an angle but clearly still in one piece.
It seemed that the Bomb Disposal Squad had already been and made the bomb safe. However, there was an inspector outside the church who said he still had something of a mystery and he took Sarge through the church and down some old stone steps to the crypt. The walls were lined with old coffins and there were large stone tombs dotted about on the floor.
Daylight was shining through the big hole and there lying at an angle was the body of the bomb with its point having gone straight into and smashed the largest large stone tomb of all.
The Inspector said, “I want you to come and look at this broken tomb. I’ve had the council historian down here because the Bomb Disposal lads pointed out there was no skeleton inside, which seemed a little odd. The history chaps say this is the tomb of Lord Thorburn and he was definitely buried in this tomb 250 years ago. There were lots of witnesses and it was all officially recorded. So the question is, ‘Where are the remains?’ I’ve had four officers look at this plus all sorts of council people but nobody can work it out. It seems Lord Thorburn’s tomb is very important. He left money to keep this church and all its activities running. We can’t suddenly lose his skeleton”.
Sarge thought to himself. In the distant darkness of his mind a dim light began to shine. He followed that thought and it gradually blossomed into a full light bulb moment.
“I think I know where it is sir!” he said to the inspector.
“Really?” asked his boss.
“Yes sir. If we could go in your car sir, I think we could retrieve it very quickly.”
Five minutes later, they drove up to the two scallywags he had seen earlier who had made a “special effort” with their guy. Now he knew what was so “special” about it and why it looked so gruesome. As they got out the two boys ran off. “Don’t worry about them sir, I know where they both live”. Very gently he prised away the old clothing, the blond wig and wiped the lipstick of the skeletal grinning teeth. “There you are inspector. I think you’ll find this is Lord Thorburn’s skeleton.”
“Brilliant,” said the inspector and they carefully lifted the 250 year old skeleton onto the car.
Sarge couldn’t help thinking to himself that the two boys must have got this out of the tomb whilst the bomb was still live. They could have blown themselves up as well as a fair part of the town!